Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Parenting Tips That Are Actually Useful: Tip #1

Here is tip #1 of a new series (as of today): What to do when your child has stuck a small, foreign object up their nose.

Close the nostril that does NOT have an object in it.

Have the child open their mouth a little.

Cover their mouth with your mouth and blow.

This forces air up their sinuses and will blow the item down the nostril, if not all the way out, then at least down far enough for you to remove it with tweezers.

Cost of gas to drive to the hospital: $5.00

Cost of being forced to prance around in front of the hot male nurse with ZERO makeup, frizzy hair, and a bra that makes my chest look flat: most of my dignity

Cost of ER trip: $100.00

Learning that you can easily dislodge a foreign object from your childs nasal cavity without a trip to the hospital: PRICELESS!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Revisions....revisions....more revisions...and what the hell am I doing anyways?

I know, I know.

All three people who read this blog are out there going "Hey, where the heck have you been?"

Well, fear no longer, I am back and blogging again. You don't need to sob with quiet desperation into your pillow at night, wondering what I am up to.

As the title of this blog post indicates, I have been revising. A LOT. And learning a lot about writing.

You're thinking..."wait, didn't you write a book? Don't you know a lot about writing?"

And the answers to those questions are Yes and No. Yes, I wrote a book. Was it any good? Parts of it, maybe. Do I know anything about writing? Yes, I learned a lot while I was writing it, but not enough to write something I am willing to share with anyone other than my wonderful online writing critique group.

You see, when I started this whole thing, I knew nothing, absolutely nothing about writing a novel. Plot, scene structure, character development, all of that was just something I totally winged. So, what I have is 77,000 words that were just spewed out of my head with no real forethought or insight. It's like a stream of consciousness (but NOT in a cool, Jack Kerouac kind of way).

For the last few weeks, I have been reading about writing. I went to the library and checked out fine writing guides such as the aptly titled: "So You Want To Write" and the even more appropriate - in my case - "Writing Fiction for Dummies".

And now I am revising like a mo fo. Fixing, adding conflict, tension, and hopefully a semibelievable plot. ;)

Also, with a group of my nearest and dearest, I am starting a new blog at http://theperfectpandemonium.blospot.com/

The Pandemonium will begin soon....