Monday, March 22, 2010

Failure is the opportunity to try again more intelligently

Okay, I know you all are sitting on the edge of your seats, wondering how I did in the writers contest I entered (and by "you all", I mean the three people who read this blog, including my mother). Well, wait no longer! Because obviously, by the title of this blog post, I did not win.

Alas, I have failed. But do not fret because I think I am making some progress on my query letter! So, I am posting "query letter attempt number two" for you reading pleasure! And why you are reading that, I will be over here, in the corner, quietly sobbing.


Sophie Cole expected college to be hard, but she didn’t expect it would be life-threatening.

As soon as Sophie crosses the city limits into New Canterbury, Connecticut, everything goes wrong. First, she runs into Jackson, quite possibly the hottest guy she’s ever seen. Literally, runs into. With her car.

Then, she starts seeing things she can’t explain, and is chased by things she can’t see. Because of her semi-psychic tendencies, she knows that Jackson is somehow involved, but he’s not exactly bursting to give her any information. She can’t tell him how she knows, because he would never believe her. Heck, she is pretty sure she’s going crazy.

Crazy starts to look inviting when Sophie discovers that she is being chased by a demon.

And now, she has to find time for ninja training in between her class schedule.


I feel much better about this one. It is written more in the tone of the novel.

Tirz, you were totally right, the other one was basically a synopsis. And it was boring. You are a rock star.

I am still not sure this query is ready, though. I feel like I'm missing something? Does it even make sense...hmmmm....suggestions always welcome!

If I were Mr. T, I would say "I pity the fool who reads my query, I do, I do!"

3 comments:

  1. This second one is better! I really like it!
    You're doing great.

    I didn't know Kevn Costner showed his butt in Dances With Wolves. Are you sure you're not confused with his role in Robinhood? Loved that movie!

    SusiQ

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  2. Oh yes he did! I believe it was the scene where he was washing his clothes in the river (or was he bathing?) and the indian boys come and steal his horse, and he runs after them. Full back shot. No clothes. I think pretty much every movie he made in the 90s featured his booty.

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  3. Sorry you didn't win Marewolf...oh and yes, I remember Mr. Costner's buns in Dancing with Wolves.

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